The wanderings of a hobo: You can't be Syriaahh's

Temperatures in India soared to 47 degrees causing an outbreak of epidemic, or should I say epidermic, proportions! All over India people were succumbing to the effects of prickly heat. A cure was needed, and fast.

The answer...Fairy Dust! At least the Indian version. That and leaving the country.

India left its mark in more ways than one. During the final days Lorimer was thrown to the ground in defeat playing a violent game of Cupadi (aka Chapati). Now at least he had an excuse for being a "sore" loser.

Kushbu (The girl in Red) looks on in disgust.

So the sore loser packed his bags and said goodbye to the wonderful children, his hosts hoping and a country full of delicious food, eager to come back early in January. After almost a month and a half of 40+ weather it was time for somewhere cooler... How was Andrew to know the next country would be even hotter!

Goodbye wonderful girls

Goodbye wonderful boys

Goodbye to misunderstandings and being constantly laughed at like poor Saurabh. Hhahahahaaahahahaha

The plane touched down in the UAE at around 6:30am and already the sun had a bite to it. The mission for today, obtain a Syrian visa.

Step 1) Catch bus to Dubai

Step 2) Refuse taxi because consulate is “not far away”

Step 2) Ask random people for directions and continue on foot

Step 3) Follow directions, get lost and repeat, Step 2 (x8)

Step 4) Realise directions are contradicting one another

Step 5) Get angry

Step 6) Still refuse taxi

Step 7) Walk for an hour and a half in the heat of the day

Step 8) Repeat, Step 5

Step 9) Wave down the police for directions

Step 10) Get taken to the consulate in the back of a police vehicle

Andrew gratefully stepped out of the police car (which wouldn't be the only time this happened in Dubai...more on this later) and made his way inside the consulate only to find that it was now too late to submit the forms today and that he would have to come back again tomorrow.

The next day came around and Lorimer opted for a much simpler approach

Step 1) Catch the bus to Dubai

Step 2) Take taxi to consulate

Amazingly enough it worked and the $5 AUD taxi fare seemed a great investment. That is until armed with photos and filled out forms Lorimer entered the elusive building only to find out you have to be a citizen of the UAE to apply...

You can't be Syria's! Thanks for telling me that yesterday!

Step 3) Walk out angrily muttering some choice words under your breath.

Lorimer was livid and started plotting. His plan, to take them up the tallest building in the world and quite literally bring about their downfall. Being pushed off a tall building or letting me into the country...maybe VISA things you'll want to consider.

The scene of the crime by day

And by night

Despite the price tag of $30 per person Lorimer shelled out for the tickets before making a vital mistake. Assuming everyone is as tight as he is!

With the tickets purchased Lorimer wasted no time getting into the threats, assuming that nobody would possibly pass up their free ticket worth $30... Wrong.

The consulate officers left in a hurry, on their way making sure to point out my lack of fashion sense in such a classy place. I went up the building alone, my plan foiled more convincingly than I ever saw a student expand algebraic brackets.

View from the 123rd floor.

At the base of a building was a mall and after those hurtful comments I found myself at fashion central. Here they sell scarves that look like thin hankies for $400 AUD. I admit, they were nice looking hankees, but seriously $400!

And also, what's wrong with Crocs and socks?

Dubai has many extravagant displays of wealth.

Burj Dubai, the self proclaimed 7 star hotel with rooms starting at $3000 a night.

Lush Green Grass might not seem extravagant but when you consider that Dubai would be just like outback Australia if sprinklers weren't running 24/7 you get the picture.

The difference was most striking viewed from a plane.

Everything was so expensive I tried anything I could to get things cheaper. First I tried to pretend I was under 90cm.

But I realised that even my best Limbo efforts couldn't fall 'short'

I also failed to pass as under 1.2m. I briefly considered amputation.

Deciding the surgery probably cost more than the saving, I used my legs to walk along the branches of a giant palm tree, created by dumping rocks and sand in the ocean to make an artificial island. This in turn has been covered in posh hotels and resorts.

They are planning to build a small map of the world too!

The top leaf of the palm stretches about 4km which I neared the end of before realising no taxi's service this area and that you can only get to the main land with the same 4km walk back to the trunk. With the heat and without a great deal of water, this was not an attractive option.

I struck up a conversation with a security guard and before long he had waved down a bus full of construction workers which I gratefully hopped on and made my way back.

Little did I know that someone was stalking me on my journey.

(This photo is taken from their surveillance tapes)

My last night in Dubai was a memorable one as I got distracted reading and passed the stop heading back to Sharjah. This meant getting off at another station and having to recharge a bus card as the drivers don't accept money. This was frustrating enough and waiting at the recharge machine made things worse.

In the middle east I have discovered the concept of a queue to be as foreign as a curly haired Aussie. People reach over, push through and merge into your lane (if you are lucky enough to have one) whenever they feel like it.

So anyway I got a local to purchase the ticket on my behalf, handing him the coins and putting my wallet back into my pocket, which I recognised had come open, I assumed from the tidal wave of bodies “lining up” around me. I checked for my wallet by patting my thigh and then smoothed the veclro over to shut my pocket. In the meantime the coins I had given weren't accepted by the machine and I was asked to find a small note. I went back for my wallet only to realise it was gone, Credit Cards and all.

I punched the machine, said some colorful words and then ran to the police station knowing I was stranded with six UAE coins!

The guys I met at the station were brilliant. The first officer gave me his mobile to call home and cancel my credit card. For some reason you can't call international from the police station, nor can you check Gmail for important phone numbers which I also needed to do. My flight was booked to Lebanon early the next morning and I needed to get onto Grover to meet me there since I had no money or way of getting it.

In the meantime I was offered some coffee and I started to cheer up, telling myself at least I was getting something for free out of all this! I decided to do an Ambigram for the first officer while I was waiting for the second. When he arrived I made one for him too, then the most of another free coffee.

My first FREE coffee.

My second...Ok, so they didn't serve this kind of coffee but at least I am wearing the same clothes to make it look convincing. I planned this in advance so don't accuse me of not washing!

The officer drove me back to the hotel in his own car, (a good 30 min out of his way) bought me dinner and then gave me 50 Dirhams to get to the airport the next morning. Surely that kindness can't be offered to all the people he comes across...So in the end I lost a bit of money and a few things but it was such a great reminder of the blessing we can be to others.

A picture of the officer and his Ambigram. Face removed to ensure anonymity. Seriously!

Next Stop Lebanon, and just in time. According to the BBC, the day I left was forecast to hit 50 degrees.

I met up with Grover and Melody (friends from Aus) and together we visited a bunch of places.

In Lebanon we went to Jeita Grotto, a giant cave network in which you can't record or take photos.

Fortunately there are rebels out there (not me) who have!

We went to the Cedars of Lebanon...

And I tried my best to get lost on another hike up the tallest mountain in the middle east. Nearing the 3088m peak wearing just shorts and a tee-shirt proved to be extremely cold and when combined with howling winds and the fact I had no idea which way the peak was, I thought I'd better head down. The only real loss was my pride, the walk and the towns were beautiful.

I forgot to get money off Grover for the trip and was asked to come on over to a restaurant by a shopkeeper. Upon hearing that I didn't have money and why the owner offered me a free drink which I couldn't be rude and refuse!

I headed further down to the town below where I was asked to buy some Cedar souvenirs. I explained I had no money and why and the WOOD be sellers. One started enthusiastically offering me his goods, then, upon hearing I didn't have money offered a swap for my headband. No way! The others told him why I didn't have money so he reached for his wallet and stared asking me how much I wanted. He insisted I take some.

How could I turn down such generosity? Would I stoop that low?

I know what you are thinking...

I didn't!

This got me thinking a little though. I wonder how long I could live off a sob story like that?

What do you think, how long is stolen wallet sympathy (SWS) valid for? 1 day, 1 week, 1 month, 1 year?

Traveling with a girl

Let it be said that there are many benefits of traveling with a girl. People become a lot more friendly to you and often you get some of the free samples, due to the fact it looks a bit suss offering them exclusively to her (although that hasn't stopped some). So the up side is free tea, coated almonds, smoothie samples and lollies. The down side are the stares, wolf whistling, and unwanted photography. I admire the way Melody has taken this attention, telling unwanted paparazzi off and giving the death stare to a wolf whistling 10 year old who will now have nightmares for the rest of his life!

As it happened we were in a Mosque when a camera flashed. Melody immediately called over the photographer to request he ask for permission, but upon looking at the photo she realised that she wasn't even in the frame and that the photo was aimed squarely on me. Turns out he found the dress I was wearing to dress modestly was worthy of a photo.

How would you like all this for $1 Australian Dollar

Or this for $6

We left Lebanon behind and headed over to Syria. Yes, the place I could not get a visa for!

We began the ride from Beirut to Damascus in Syria and I was a little nervous that I would not be let across the border. Two things I was worried about were

My only source of income, the “Bank of Grover” had already obtained a visa and was certainly crossing the border into Syria
Not being able to travel with my friends having flown over especially to do so.

All border patrol wanted to know was that I wasn't American and everything was peachy. I was stoked and having bought some Vodka with us Melody suggested that like Paul we should get 'blind' on the road to Damascus! Nobody could discount our experience either because it would be a work of the Spirit! Vodka is a spirit right?

None of us got blind.

In Damascus we checked out the markets and watched the World Cup on the big screen.

As well as a beautiful Mosque whose dimensions were 157 by 97m. As we were just talking about it, I noticed that these dimensions form the Golden Ratio, 1.618...

GEEK

After Damascus we headed to the Desert town of Palmyra. We arrived in the afternoon to a town that looked dead only to find that as the sun goes down, the people come out. We wandered around a mass of ruins and I was in awe as to how they built these massive structures without the help of today's technology.

Here is a little piece of writing to give you a picture of what it was like. I don't know whether you'd call it poetry or what...I'd call it nice writing