The wanderings of a hobo

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Theres no place like...

Well hello there

I am now sitting at the computer back in Australia with a massive smile on my face. This will be my final entry for 'The Wanderings of a hobo'. I was going to title it 'heading home', but when I think about it, I have felt right at home wherever I have been.

Whether that be stuffing my face in Malaysia, dreaming about rockets flying through my window in Afghanistan, teaching Frisbee and hiking around in Nepal, going into schools, being roasted alive and being educated about 'White Tax' in India, going home in the FRONT of a (divvi van!) policeman's car in Dubai, listening to the same song everyday and getting money out of the Groves ATM in the Middle East, playing "Extreme High" and "CrickeTennis" in Canada, Working and not successfully completing any hikes at Holden, Sleeping in Seattle, Being in awe in Alaska, hanging out in Springfield and finally cruising in Cali-forn-ia...

Every single person I have met, every meal, every gift, every friendship, every encouraging word, every good conversation, every home, every family, every hike, every joke, every update you have cringed through, every game, every opportunity, every kind gesture, thankyou.

Thank you all so much, I cannot say it enough!

One more thing I can't say enough, come to Australia. If you don't I might have to do something crazy like pretend I'm getting married to get you all over here. Who am I kidding, nobody would fall for that!

Once more, thankyou all so very much
May God reward you, for your kindness

Love,
Andrew

PS: Would you laugh at a guy you'd never seen before wearing this?
PPS: I was wearing socks with my crocs at the time

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Spiritual Update 005

Books that Bite Back.

I love reading, and recently I've gotten on the end of some real winners. Please promise me you will read at least one of these before you die!

Here's a basic rundown for each

"The trouble with Paris" was the first of these and confronts the myths sold to us by the culture we live in that fame is the pinnacle of life and that we will be happy if we consume a bunch of things, people and experiences. Reading this book was much like discovering that having white skin is actually beautiful, like I did in India. Very, very revealing.

One part that has stuck with me has been 'choice anxiety' a term used to describe worrying if we have made the best, coolest and most fun choice. This happens when we are constantly looking for something or someone better, too afraid to commit. Past generations didn't have to deal with these issues but today we are bombarded with messages to upgrade everything we have. Happiness is just around the corner for those who upgrade!

Counter to that is my recent experiences in Alaska and now Springfield. I haven't really done anything 'spectacular' in either of these places. Most of my time was spent just hanging out with people and enjoying their company, and I have, I really have.

I know buffet's usually make me happy but I was just sitting down for lunch at Missouri State and was nearly exploding with joy thinking about so many blessings God has given me. Most of them were simple things available to everyone, like having deep friendships and a places to call 'home' no matter where I have been.

One quote from the book was.

"We should not make any major decisions in life without walking around a graveyard, for death is the ultimate lens with which to view our life projects".

The next book is called "Stuff Christians Like". The more time you have spent in church, the better this book gets. It is probably the funniest book I have ever read, but as well as that, it subtly points out some of the stupidity in my own life. Go and buy a copy, I already have 4!

The last book is called "The Irresistible Revolution" which just smashed me in every way imaginable. It is a wake up call to radical action and a return to what God says is important. I've been forced to look at my own life and consider how to go about acting on the massive challenges required to live out the gospel I am preaching. The following quote is a ripper and probably sums up the tone of the book nicely.

The matter is quite simple. The Bible is very easy to understand. But we Christians are a bunch of scheming swindlers. We pretend to be unable to understand it because we know very well that the minute we understand, we are obliged to act accordingly. Take any words in the New Testament and forget everything else except pledging yourself to act accordingly. My God. You will say, if I do that my whole life will be ruined. How would I ever get on in the world? Herein lies the real place of Christian Scholarship. Christian scholarship is the Church's prodigious invention to defend itself against the Bible to ensure that we can continue to be good Christians without the Bible coming too close. Oh, priceless scholarship, what would we do without you? Dreadful it is to fall into the hands of the living God. Yes, it is even dreadful to be alone with the New Testament. -Soren Kierkgaard-

There also issues a challenge to engage with the poor, the broken the lonely and lost of this world rather than donating to them without ever really getting to know who "they" are. Here is a prayer from one of "them"

Dear God,

Please make all the poor people rich.
And all the rich people poor.
Then bring us all back to medium so we will take better care of each other.
Amen.

Ten-year-old boy, Philadelphia

Two more quotes I've come across elsewhere and really liked.

Past the beggar and the suffering walk he who asks, 'Why, oh God, do you not do something for these people?' To which God replied, 'I did do something, I made you.' --Old Sufi Saying

"I have nothing to say of my working life, only that a necktie is a noose, and inverted though it is, it will hang a man nonetheless if he’s not careful."
--Yann Martel, Life of Pi --

Stop stealing my credit

It's hard to say whether I have grown in this area (dependence on God) over the last month or so but I have spent some time memorizing Bible verses that have to do with peoples recognition that God is in control and everything we have comes not from our own awesomeness but from God.

I used to get weirded out when some of my friends would say 'Praise God' after receiving a compliment for something good they had done. I thought, 'God didn't do it, surely you deserve the credit'. I even remember telling Kev I wasn't comfortable with 'praising God' for my accomplishments and achieving good things. I didn't think it fair, that God gets praise for all the good things and then I have to take credit for all the bad ones. I'm still not sure where I sit with all that, but lately I've noticed a tiny shift in my own thinking.

Recently I've had people say "Gee you've taken some great photos" and the most natural response for me was to say, "God did all the hard work, I just pressed a button on the camera".

Now maybe some of you are thinking I'm a wacko! And maybe it is weird that I would respond like that. Clearly I had to focus the camera and frame the picture in such a way, etc, etc. But even those small things wouldn't be possible without God giving me life and breath and everything else...don't worry I'm not yet at the point where if you thanked me for getting you a glass of water I'd be 'praising God' for it.

But it is a much healthier mindset to realise that instead of taking credit that doesn't belong to me, which is usually what happens, I was able, in this case, to direct the credit to it's rightful owner instead of stealing it for myself.

So I guess I am coming to understand that these 'whacked out' people who "Praise God" saw things a lot more clearly than I did and at the end of the day all I'm doing is pointing a camera!

Just in case there weren't enough quotes, here is a prayer from Holden Village they send you out with. I really like it.

"O God, you have called your servants to ventures of which we cannot see the ending, by paths as yet untrodden, through perils unknown. Give us faith to go out with good courage, not knowing where we go, but only that your hand is leading us and your love supporting us; through Jesus Christ our Lord. AMEN

Monday, September 6, 2010

Listen Carefully (a poem)

Listen Carefully

Today is our opportunity to learn from a wise woman,
A gentle and softly spoken soul that requires careful attention
Consider her message as highly essential
Before she speaks, let me just list her credentials

Inventor and teacher, provider and preacher
Come, listen in to our wonderful speaker
Will we hear her voice,
Through all the noise?

Magnificent Mathematics arranger of art
Symmetry and Patterns she knows off by heart
Her artistic masterpieces hang in galleries round the world
People flock from distant lands to see her works unfurled

Well qualified to speak in both Science and Theology
In Physics, Horticulture and Molecular Biology
This woman inspired many of our greatest thinkers

Experts realise her teaching methods generate real thought
Charging thousands for students to be immersed in how she taught
Her curriculum is not a race, learning happens at students pace
They discover, ask questions, create and play
Think for themselves and are sent on their way
Imagine, experiment through trial and error
All learning styles catered for what could be fairer?

This woman we discuss
Educational genius
Her motto 'Long live curiosity and adventure'

Her school is free for all, not a single charge to pay
For some reason enrollments are getting smaller every single day
They're always open too, so you can't be late to class
With miles of playground that make ours look like a farce
Come, give it a chance, then you'll agree
It's the best school going around guaranteed

Look to the skies,
things too big to describe
Feelings of awe, simply open your door
Do you get the sense there's something more?
Patience, waiting for crops to grow,
or rain to come, or clearing snow
Consequence, touching spiky plants
or stepping on a nest of ants,
Or going alone and risking attack
Constantly having to watch your back
In community we find the safety of a pack,
Can't shirk, hard work, in Nature's school
Laziness invariably exposing the fool
“Shelter, yeah that idea sounds clever
I'll get around to it...whenever”
Now it's too late, in the cold of night
Fingers numb, you have no light
The night feels long and lingers on
Dare not complain or take aim with blame
Out here you can't play the, “not my fault” game
That long hard night teaches me,
To take responsibility
In Nature's school you reap what you sow
And if you plant nothing, then nothing will grow

We depend on each other and on the land
We depend on teamwork and being well planned
Gently flowing rivers teach us to deal with frustrations
Watching water carve a path with persistence and patience
The water wont give up, even though it's being mocked
Giant stones laugh proudly, and the flow seems all but blocked,
As streams we tend to give up at the first sight of a clock
“It's too hard”, we complain but as we watch this stream in shock
We witness a gently flowing river, H2 0wning rock!

With curiosity and adventure these things were uncovered
What other lessons lay outside and wait to be discovered?

An apple falling from a tree
got Edisons attention
We all know about gravity but...

Have we considered the apple an invention?

All our creativity, comes back to nature
We plagiarized her ideas, then took turns to rape her

Non-stick frying pans from a ducks back
Ideas for warm clothing stolen from yaks
We take what she gave us and cultivate cheese
Made Air-Con, experiencing a fresh summer breeze
Artwork we've admired
From her was inspired
A Fridge from the snow
A Watch from shadows
Showers for waterfalls
Bamboo for Soccer balls
Planes that have grown
From birds that have flown
Knives from sharp stones
No ideas our own

A huge walk-in pantry, a giant hardware store
A doctors clinic and oh so much more.
Mother Nature used to speak, but sometimes I wonder
Have we gone deaf in the land down under?

Please, I beg you, come and see
Bet you didn't know pepperoni came from a tree.

Rain pours and thunder roars
We run and hide, it's safe indoors
The world is too great, to sit inside and ignore
Get up, get outside, go and explore
“Wow”, we exclaim, watching National Geographic
I'll go there one day but right now, stuck in traffic
Disconnected from nature, completely unplugged
Your PC probably, the last thing you debugged!
Come and see, I urge you, take a look
But there's no wireless out there to update Facebook!

But from the clutches some manage escape...

When did nature become the exception rather than the rule?
When did sterile portables replace the outdoor school?
Correct me if I'm wrong, I may be mistaken
The “real world” is the one to which we now awaken
Filled with busyness, files and shopping in aisles
Not the sunrise that greets me and causes a smile
Or that useless un-developed land that's been here a while.
Life is money, deadlines and a paperwork pile
Well I guess I'll take the fairyland with which I'm contented
With Mother Nature, mountains, trees, and what God invented.

Andrew

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Man vs Wild

After spending two weeks in the Holden Village kitchen, Lorimer and his mates got an unexpected call. He and his friends Sam and Thomas had made the short-list for a new reality TV series documenting human survival in the wild.

Lorimer spent his next kitchen shift organizing a 'special meal' for his friends to celebrate. The special meal worked a treat and soon the short-list became even shorter...

Being found the only candidate worthy, (aka alive) Lorimer was selected to appear on the show. He was flown to Alaska where he went into training with some local lumberjacks. Andrew was amazed when he saw they could "do this thing where they hit pieces of wood a bunch of times and they would split in half".

He was even shown how to decapitate a log by throwing an axe at it. Andrew attempt ended in splitting not logs but the sides of those in the crowd who watched on as he struggled to lift the axe. "That event's not much chop anyway" he later commented to the media.

That red thing used to be Chuck Norris' head! Norris was mouthing off in the audience so the Lumberjack crushed him in his hand. RIP Chuck.

After the intense training Lorimer was dropped in Talkeetna, Alaska, where he had to survive two weeks in the wilderness. His journey was to be documented and aired as a new version of Man Vs Wild. The show was AXED almost immediately when Lorimer was seen running away from a squirrel.

This dealt a huge blow to Lorimer manhood who decided to prove himself in the Alaskan wilderness. His first target, a moose!

Andrew ventured into the back-country and spotted one, happily munching on weeds. Hoping to catch her attention, Lorimer threw a rock, landing only inches away. The moose didn't flinch, ignoring the pitiful attempts to get her to look at the camera and be "Shot".

Andrew shouted something nasty at the moose before leaving and then sent the above photo in to the local paper with an article he'd pre-written about "Shooting" and "Bagging" a moose.

News of the Lumberjack trainee spread around the area, while Lorimer went in search of his next victim. High up in the trees he spotted an eagle which he started hurling insults at. "Get some hair baldy", "Advanced hair, yeah yeah"...on he went until realising that American's wouldn't appreciate finding out he'd "Bagged" their national emblem.

He couldn't stop, despite all the WARNEing signs. But the puns were just too easy to come by.

The jokes got more and more hairendous and the eagle told him to cut it out or else he'd be headed for serious stubble. "You really need to brush up on your puns" Lorimer quipped before heading to the safety of a car.

Moments later while traveling down the road a piercing sound shattered the quiet country air. Andrew looked back in disbelief as the rear window of the car was shattered. Forensic experts are baffled at how the back window got shattered. Most agree that the only animal capable of the speed required to do this is a FALCON. Ruling out Lorimer's eagle theory.

What do you call a guy who makes vases and doesn't shave?

Hairy Potter

After that close SHAVE, the boys did a few DONUTS and HEADed back out to the road, the THINNING traffic a sign they were venturing further into the wild.

Lorimer was nervous and it was a good thing he was feeling awfully small at this point as this was the only urinal at Taco Bell. This seemed like the perfect hideout for Andrew, dirt cheap prices and non existent hygiene standards!

But out of nowhere he was given a reprieve. Two locals offered him a place to hideout until the ruffled feathers had been taken care of.

After listening to hours of deerpressing moosic Andrew couldn't bear it anymore. He had to get out and find some better protection.

Despite the bargain price this clearly this wasn't big enough for the job. Lorimer went searching elsewhere.

He needed something bigger!

With the new protection in place Lorimer gained the confidence to step back outside and explore Alaska. He still took all the necessary precautions. It is said that if you tuck your socks into your pants it stops animals picking up your scent, and when you have a cent like Andrew, people start calling it a dollar!

The animals were at a loss, but the wise old owl suggested that "if we can't find him, we'll let him find us"

The animals found Lorimer's weakness. Lots of food, bargain prices and Pride.

Babe the pig willingly sacrificing himself for the cause. 'Operation Waddle' was underway.

After ordering the 'standard' size from the menu Lorimer was immediately questioned by the waiter. "Do you know how big that is?". 'Do I know how big it is', he laughed to himself, confirming his order and feeling offended that he would even be asked such a question.

News travels slow in Alaska and apparently they hadn't heard of his record breaking pasta consumption at Anton's in Canada. But then out came the breakfast which looked like all of Old McDonald's farm had suddenly died and been served on a plate.

Lorimer got to this point and all looked lost. He needed to compose himself and went for a short walk to gather his thoughts. The words from the waiter rang in his ears "Do you know how big it is?". That was enough, Lorimer stepped back up to the plate, cleared all the bases and was now loaded with food.

Mission accomplished...and just in case you don't know who I am, here is my pen from Anton's

The animals couldn't believe it. Not only did Lorimer finish the job but he was still walking around. The chickens had been saving up for weeks for this project and when they heard the news they cracked it! "So much for putting all your eggs in one basket", Mother Hen complained. "Oh Shut up and quit your scrambling", Babe's mother squealed, reminding the hen about her son who fried in vain. "No wonder they call you 'chicken', we lay down our lives and you lay some pathetic eggs. Talk about having it over easy..."

On and on they went as the wise old Owl explain to the others their backup plan. Church.

Lorimer sat through the service and was invited to join the congregation for a potluck, (church lunch) where everyone has bought a dish to share. The scent of Meryl's famous stew was intoxicating and the delicious little sandwiches stood side by side, courageously awaiting their fate. The perfect plan. Not only was it a buffet, but it was completely FREE.

'Operation Waddle' looked set for success. With potato and egg still lodged halfway up his windpipe from that mornings breakfast Andrew politely refused the free lunch and headed back to his hideout.

Not even the wise old owl could comprehend this happening and while all the animals stood around imitating the stunned mullet, Andrew made his escape.

Safely back at his hideout, Andrew was told of their plans by his informANT.

Immediately he began plotting his counter attack. Building this spike suit to disguise himself as a porcupine (no echidnas up here) . This job was too big for a Monotreme, it required a.... MonoXtreme

What do you call a Christmas Tree wrapped in Bacon? A porcuipine

It also required funding from some wealthy tourists and Andrew went sail knocking from Yatch to Yatch pleading for donations to the "Lorimer Wildlife Protection Fund", or as it should have been worded, the "Protect Lorimer from Wildlife Fund"

Donations came in by the thousands and "Projects" commenced rapidly.

This popular project was given the name "Beaver Flats Logging" which some are saying should have been called "Logging Beavers Flat".

This project was referred to as the "Bear Weight Management Scheme"

This was just called fishing!

Lorimer was told to hold the Salmon out in front of him to make it look bigger.

The Salmon community was gutted and went into spawning. Andrew in the meantime was working hard at getting his picture on the front page for what he claimed was a 7ft King Salmon. He phoned the Alaskan Times to share his accomplishment.

However, the interview turned into an interrogation after Lorimer responded to the question "What tackle did you use?" with, "Just those regular ones you see at the football".

After getting vague responses to many of her questions the frustrated interviewer asked, "Do you even know where you caught it?" to which Lorimer replied, "Alaska".

"I'll ask her" she replied, indignantly. Failing to understand his accent.

"Why don't you ask her what a truck sounds like when it's reversing" she yelled and then slammed down the phone.

With no chance of making the front page for his feats of manliness, Lorimer decided it was time to head back to Springfield.

He thanked Eric and Jamie for their brilliant hospitality and a place to lay low.

Maybe he would get a chance to impress the people of Missouri...If nothing else at least he knew he'd have a cool accent.

Andrew's opportunity came immediately when he saw a skunk innocently roaming the streets. Knowing that a skunk couldn't possibly make him smell any worse he chased it onto a patch of grass. There the skunk held its ground and Lorimer approached timidly reaching forward to take photos and then backing away as the skunk moved closer.

Andrew wanted to frighten the skunk into dropping a stink bomb but every time he got close the skunk would hold its ground leaving Andrew to slowly back away. The skunk would then run a few steps and back away. This cycle continued until Andrew decided he didn't want to make use of his $260 rabies shot and left the skunk alone.

His chance to become a man eluding him once more.
Will he accomplish the impossible in Springfield?

Love Andrew,

PS: What do you call a bunch of rabbits with mixo? Hair loss!
PPS: I didn't eat the bacon

Friday, August 20, 2010

Spiritual Update 004

So much has gone on in the last little while and I've been at a point where I have grown tired of writing, attempting in vain to paint a picture of what this trip is like. I'd so much rather people come and see for themselves.

Today was a perfect example as I watched the sunset over Denali all I could do was shake my head in disbelief. I am still coming to terms with how beautiful it was.

No words can describe things like this.

So I guess last time you heard from me I was in the Middle East roaming around looking at some cool places. My favorite country was Israel for sure. Almost everywhere you went there was something to remind you of all the Biblical stories. Jerusalem, the Garden of Gethsemane, Mt of Olives, King David's city, Jericho, The dead sea, Hezekiah's tunnel...

A lot of the time I just kept imagining myself as a person watching the stories unfold.

My most memorable time was at the Garden of Gethsemane where Jesus prayed before being crucified. I went up there alone to have some God time but met a bunch of hippies having a peace meeting of some sort, complete with tie dyed shirts and dreads. Anyway, one of them who suffered from some level of mental illness came up and loudly offered me some watermelon while they were chanting. A nice gesture despite the dirty hands. The head honcho approaches and gives me his card and a spiel about how they are all about peace and then clips the guy over the head for being loud. As I sat watching the sun go down and observing their peace-fest I saw him raise his hand again at the same guy who cowered away, clearly scared of being hit. I couldn't help but laugh to myself.

What a great way to bring about peace!

A few months later I heard these lyrics which reminded me of that time.

“You can bomb the world to pieces, but you can't bomb it into peace”

So, the middle east was great. I found out about a lot of places I didn't know and started reading a book on Biblical Archaeology...ask me about Manna in the desert sometime.

After the Middle East I was off to Canada where I caught up with Barry and Jarrod and helped out with the Seebaz cricket camps. My highlight was when one of the younger kids who was really enthusiastic (aka not very skillful) hit a four off the corner of his bat. Clearly using the full face of the bat was a little too easy!

It was so good to see Jarrod and Barry again and we spent time inventing ridiculous games and challenges such as “Extreme High” where you nominate 10 people for your partner to try to get a 'hi' from. One point for each verbal greeting...and yes you could pick people talking on the phone or walking beside their boyfriend!!

We set up a marquee in World Record time...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z6yJd6a7A-M

And played some CrickeTennis...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TS9EK8lWfm4

Applause Addict

There is this run you can do just outside Vancouver called the Grouse Grind. It's an 800m climb straight up over about 2.5km. The fastest recorded time is around 25 minutes. I set myself a goal of 30 minutes knowing I would realistically have been happy with 40.

Aim for the stars and hit the moon trying right?

Wrong! Not long after I took off the past months of excess food and lack of exercise caught up with me and after 53 minutes of strain I was at the top a very disappointed man. What made it more disappointing was that Barry's two boys (8 and 9) were only six minutes behind me.

Once we were all at the top we rode the Gondola down and saw the best times displayed from different age groups. My addiction to comparing myself with others kept me looking at the screen as the categories flashed up.

20-29 year old males 25:40...

Under 12 Females 51:39...

13-19 Females 34:31...

With each passing screen came a blow to my pride, but none more powerful than seeing the 60-69 year old Females best time of 40 minutes and 21 seconds!

Needless to say I didn't feel too great after that but then I guess that reveals the huge flaw in basing your worth on your achievements or on something you are (or used to be) good at!

In fact, there are only two things that can come from comparing. Pride of Jealousy.

Pride if you are better than those around you or despair and jealousy if you aren't. Wow, what a miserable way of life I have chosen to take part in.

Alternatively. Depend on God.

I have determined to spend time reminding myself that all that I am and have has been created by God to be a reflection. I want to be free of this comparison curse. It rules so many things that I do!

I reckon it's going to be a long journey, kinda like teaching myself to throw with my opposite hand...I'll be very likely to return to my preferred hand because it's what I know, it's the one I've taught myself to rely on for as long as I can remember.

Alongside that comes the realisation that I need to pay more attention to my relationship with God. Seeings I am dependent on God so much more that i'd like to admit. Once again I need to realise and acknowledge my place in the world.

I see God being in control not like a puppet show but like a good classroom in which God is the teacher. Unlike a puppet show in the classroom students are free to make choices, but God is working it all out so that the overall plan for the class is achieved despite the bad choices of the students.

Two things have been helping me understand my dependence on God.

I've been for a few hikes recently where we have crossed boulder fields strewn with rocks that had come down in a landslide. I can clearly imagine myself lifting the biggest boulder I could muster. Then I picture someone who actually has muscles straining over a much bigger boulder! In fact, I imagine what the strongest person alive could lift. Up close it looks impressive but I am not up close, I have hiked a little past the boulder field and can see the whole thing.

Ha! It makes me chuckle when as I see them straining over a boulder that now looks more like a pebble when compared to the other massive rocks lying around it. It becomes even more funny when I consider the whole field of boulders that just sit there mocking this show of 'strength'.

On I hike to the top of a mountain only to find that the field of boulders has turned into nothing more than a speck as I look down...This illustration could go on but I can only just wrap my head around as is...Don't even get me started on stars!

Psalm 147:10 puts it well “The strength of a horse does not impress God; how puny in his sight is the strength of a man”

One more example of being dependent and secure in God's eyes rather than those around you has to come from Mark 15. This one truly blows me away.

It was nine o’clock in the morning when they crucified him. A sign was fastened to the cross, announcing the charge against him. It read, “The King of the Jews.” Two criminals were crucified either side of him.

The people passing by shouted abuse, shaking their heads in mockery. “Ha! Look at you now!” they yelled at him. “You said you were going to destroy the Temple and rebuild it in three days. 30 Well then, save yourself and come down from the cross!”

The leading priests and teachers of religious law also mocked Jesus. “He saved others,” they scoffed, “but he can’t save himself! Let this Messiah, this King of Israel, come down from the cross so we can see it and believe him!” Even the men who were crucified with Jesus ridiculed him.

I can tell you now, I woulda been down off that cross so fast... I'll show you jerks a messiah!!

Ch_ _ ch.

What's missing? U R!!

I was speechless about a month ago after I left a church 3 weeks into a series titled 'I believe in Salvation'. The basic idea is to run the congregation through the basic tenets of salvation and what it means to be saved. “I believe in the assurance of salvation” was the 3rd one that really got me. It just seemed so individualistic and selfish to put that much emphasis on a salvation that I am to look forward to when I die while the world around us is falling to pieces.

I was numb at the end of the service and didn't even know what to do. It was a huge church so I stood around waiting to talk to the pastor hoping he would notice me. I followed him outside and waited around wondering what I was even going to say. I was at a complete loss but knew I needed to speak out if only to set my mind at ease.

I caught him out in the foyer and had a quick chat in which he told me he has never heard 'partnering with God' language in the Bible and both quoted and recommended me some books by John Piper. (Who I must also say hasn't written a book of the Bible!)

I didn't feel listened to, and all that was communicated was that I was in error and needed to do some more study until I saw things the way he did. I couldn't question the pastors intentions or sincerity but neither could I shake the feeling of numbness.

Is this what church feels like sometimes?

I talked to Barry and Melissa about it (who did listen) and I guess I was coming to terms with the recognition that my faith no longer fits inside of a traditional church building. It seems there is so little I find in common (dare I say worthwhile) in the established church. To acknowledge that I don't belong anymore is a scary thought.

I've grown tired of hearing a theology based around 'heaven after you die'. It no longer inspires me, challenges me or gets me excited. What I am excited about is reclaiming salvation as a “way of life”. One we participate in now, by turning from (repenting) our sins and embracing God's way of life. I'd much rather go on a journey to bring about God's way of life now, than to wait around for heaven, whose ideals I'll practically ignore during this life but somehow enjoy for the rest of eternity!

Your Kingdom come, your will be done ON EARTH as it is in heaven.

More to come on that next time...
-Andrew-

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

You can't be Syriaahh's

Temperatures in India soared to 47 degrees causing an outbreak of epidemic, or should I say epidermic, proportions! All over India people were succumbing to the effects of prickly heat. A cure was needed, and fast.

The answer...Fairy Dust! At least the Indian version. That and leaving the country.

India left its mark in more ways than one. During the final days Lorimer was thrown to the ground in defeat playing a violent game of Cupadi (aka Chapati). Now at least he had an excuse for being a "sore" loser.

Kushbu (The girl in Red) looks on in disgust.

So the sore loser packed his bags and said goodbye to the wonderful children, his hosts hoping and a country full of delicious food, eager to come back early in January. After almost a month and a half of 40+ weather it was time for somewhere cooler... How was Andrew to know the next country would be even hotter!

Goodbye wonderful girls

Goodbye wonderful boys

Goodbye to misunderstandings and being constantly laughed at like poor Saurabh. Hhahahahaaahahahaha

The plane touched down in the UAE at around 6:30am and already the sun had a bite to it. The mission for today, obtain a Syrian visa.

Step 1) Catch bus to Dubai

Step 2) Refuse taxi because consulate is “not far away”

Step 2) Ask random people for directions and continue on foot

Step 3) Follow directions, get lost and repeat, Step 2 (x8)

Step 4) Realise directions are contradicting one another

Step 5) Get angry

Step 6) Still refuse taxi

Step 7) Walk for an hour and a half in the heat of the day

Step 8) Repeat, Step 5

Step 9) Wave down the police for directions

Step 10) Get taken to the consulate in the back of a police vehicle

Andrew gratefully stepped out of the police car (which wouldn't be the only time this happened in Dubai...more on this later) and made his way inside the consulate only to find that it was now too late to submit the forms today and that he would have to come back again tomorrow.

The next day came around and Lorimer opted for a much simpler approach

Step 1) Catch the bus to Dubai

Step 2) Take taxi to consulate

Amazingly enough it worked and the $5 AUD taxi fare seemed a great investment. That is until armed with photos and filled out forms Lorimer entered the elusive building only to find out you have to be a citizen of the UAE to apply...

You can't be Syria's! Thanks for telling me that yesterday!

Step 3) Walk out angrily muttering some choice words under your breath.

Lorimer was livid and started plotting. His plan, to take them up the tallest building in the world and quite literally bring about their downfall. Being pushed off a tall building or letting me into the country...maybe VISA things you'll want to consider.

The scene of the crime by day

And by night

Despite the price tag of $30 per person Lorimer shelled out for the tickets before making a vital mistake. Assuming everyone is as tight as he is!

With the tickets purchased Lorimer wasted no time getting into the threats, assuming that nobody would possibly pass up their free ticket worth $30... Wrong.

The consulate officers left in a hurry, on their way making sure to point out my lack of fashion sense in such a classy place. I went up the building alone, my plan foiled more convincingly than I ever saw a student expand algebraic brackets.

View from the 123rd floor.

At the base of a building was a mall and after those hurtful comments I found myself at fashion central. Here they sell scarves that look like thin hankies for $400 AUD. I admit, they were nice looking hankees, but seriously $400!

And also, what's wrong with Crocs and socks?

Dubai has many extravagant displays of wealth.

Burj Dubai, the self proclaimed 7 star hotel with rooms starting at $3000 a night.

Lush Green Grass might not seem extravagant but when you consider that Dubai would be just like outback Australia if sprinklers weren't running 24/7 you get the picture.

The difference was most striking viewed from a plane.

Everything was so expensive I tried anything I could to get things cheaper. First I tried to pretend I was under 90cm.

But I realised that even my best Limbo efforts couldn't fall 'short'

I also failed to pass as under 1.2m. I briefly considered amputation.

Deciding the surgery probably cost more than the saving, I used my legs to walk along the branches of a giant palm tree, created by dumping rocks and sand in the ocean to make an artificial island. This in turn has been covered in posh hotels and resorts.

They are planning to build a small map of the world too!

The top leaf of the palm stretches about 4km which I neared the end of before realising no taxi's service this area and that you can only get to the main land with the same 4km walk back to the trunk. With the heat and without a great deal of water, this was not an attractive option.

I struck up a conversation with a security guard and before long he had waved down a bus full of construction workers which I gratefully hopped on and made my way back.

Little did I know that someone was stalking me on my journey.

(This photo is taken from their surveillance tapes)

My last night in Dubai was a memorable one as I got distracted reading and passed the stop heading back to Sharjah. This meant getting off at another station and having to recharge a bus card as the drivers don't accept money. This was frustrating enough and waiting at the recharge machine made things worse.

In the middle east I have discovered the concept of a queue to be as foreign as a curly haired Aussie. People reach over, push through and merge into your lane (if you are lucky enough to have one) whenever they feel like it.

So anyway I got a local to purchase the ticket on my behalf, handing him the coins and putting my wallet back into my pocket, which I recognised had come open, I assumed from the tidal wave of bodies “lining up” around me. I checked for my wallet by patting my thigh and then smoothed the veclro over to shut my pocket. In the meantime the coins I had given weren't accepted by the machine and I was asked to find a small note. I went back for my wallet only to realise it was gone, Credit Cards and all.

I punched the machine, said some colorful words and then ran to the police station knowing I was stranded with six UAE coins!

The guys I met at the station were brilliant. The first officer gave me his mobile to call home and cancel my credit card. For some reason you can't call international from the police station, nor can you check Gmail for important phone numbers which I also needed to do. My flight was booked to Lebanon early the next morning and I needed to get onto Grover to meet me there since I had no money or way of getting it.

In the meantime I was offered some coffee and I started to cheer up, telling myself at least I was getting something for free out of all this! I decided to do an Ambigram for the first officer while I was waiting for the second. When he arrived I made one for him too, then the most of another free coffee.

My first FREE coffee.

My second...Ok, so they didn't serve this kind of coffee but at least I am wearing the same clothes to make it look convincing. I planned this in advance so don't accuse me of not washing!

The officer drove me back to the hotel in his own car, (a good 30 min out of his way) bought me dinner and then gave me 50 Dirhams to get to the airport the next morning. Surely that kindness can't be offered to all the people he comes across...So in the end I lost a bit of money and a few things but it was such a great reminder of the blessing we can be to others.

A picture of the officer and his Ambigram. Face removed to ensure anonymity. Seriously!

Next Stop Lebanon, and just in time. According to the BBC, the day I left was forecast to hit 50 degrees.

I met up with Grover and Melody (friends from Aus) and together we visited a bunch of places.

In Lebanon we went to Jeita Grotto, a giant cave network in which you can't record or take photos.

Fortunately there are rebels out there (not me) who have!

We went to the Cedars of Lebanon...

And I tried my best to get lost on another hike up the tallest mountain in the middle east. Nearing the 3088m peak wearing just shorts and a tee-shirt proved to be extremely cold and when combined with howling winds and the fact I had no idea which way the peak was, I thought I'd better head down. The only real loss was my pride, the walk and the towns were beautiful.

I forgot to get money off Grover for the trip and was asked to come on over to a restaurant by a shopkeeper. Upon hearing that I didn't have money and why the owner offered me a free drink which I couldn't be rude and refuse!

I headed further down to the town below where I was asked to buy some Cedar souvenirs. I explained I had no money and why and the WOOD be sellers. One started enthusiastically offering me his goods, then, upon hearing I didn't have money offered a swap for my headband. No way! The others told him why I didn't have money so he reached for his wallet and stared asking me how much I wanted. He insisted I take some.

How could I turn down such generosity? Would I stoop that low?

I know what you are thinking...

I didn't!

This got me thinking a little though. I wonder how long I could live off a sob story like that?

What do you think, how long is stolen wallet sympathy (SWS) valid for? 1 day, 1 week, 1 month, 1 year?

Traveling with a girl

Let it be said that there are many benefits of traveling with a girl. People become a lot more friendly to you and often you get some of the free samples, due to the fact it looks a bit suss offering them exclusively to her (although that hasn't stopped some). So the up side is free tea, coated almonds, smoothie samples and lollies. The down side are the stares, wolf whistling, and unwanted photography. I admire the way Melody has taken this attention, telling unwanted paparazzi off and giving the death stare to a wolf whistling 10 year old who will now have nightmares for the rest of his life!

As it happened we were in a Mosque when a camera flashed. Melody immediately called over the photographer to request he ask for permission, but upon looking at the photo she realised that she wasn't even in the frame and that the photo was aimed squarely on me. Turns out he found the dress I was wearing to dress modestly was worthy of a photo.

How would you like all this for $1 Australian Dollar

Or this for $6

We left Lebanon behind and headed over to Syria. Yes, the place I could not get a visa for!

We began the ride from Beirut to Damascus in Syria and I was a little nervous that I would not be let across the border. Two things I was worried about were

My only source of income, the “Bank of Grover” had already obtained a visa and was certainly crossing the border into Syria
Not being able to travel with my friends having flown over especially to do so.

All border patrol wanted to know was that I wasn't American and everything was peachy. I was stoked and having bought some Vodka with us Melody suggested that like Paul we should get 'blind' on the road to Damascus! Nobody could discount our experience either because it would be a work of the Spirit! Vodka is a spirit right?

None of us got blind.

In Damascus we checked out the markets and watched the World Cup on the big screen.

As well as a beautiful Mosque whose dimensions were 157 by 97m. As we were just talking about it, I noticed that these dimensions form the Golden Ratio, 1.618...

GEEK

After Damascus we headed to the Desert town of Palmyra. We arrived in the afternoon to a town that looked dead only to find that as the sun goes down, the people come out. We wandered around a mass of ruins and I was in awe as to how they built these massive structures without the help of today's technology.

Here is a little piece of writing to give you a picture of what it was like. I don't know whether you'd call it poetry or what...I'd call it nice writing